Each [fake, but realistic] turd will be beautifully gift wrapped, along with a hand written card saying whatever you want. How about something like this:

"I saw this and thought of you".

Can you imagine your ex's reaction when they open up the box?!?!

And this truly offensive package will leave them in no doubt whatsoever what people think about them.

Each "used" tampon will be lovingly presented in a gift box, with a hand written card saying whatever you want. How about something like this:

"I saw this and thought of you"

How repulsed will your ex be when they open the box!

Like all my other sick products, this too will be beautifully wrapped with a message saying whatever you want. How about something like this:

"If your parents had used this, you wouldn't be here"

I'm not sure about you, but I think I would want to puke if I opened this particular package!

Rather than a carefully crafted, vintage wine label, each bottle of "urine" will simply state whatever you want. How about something like this:

"As no-one here would piss on you if you were on fire, you might want to keep this close by - just in case!"

No matter how thick skinned your ex is, this will definatelv offend them.